Lightbulb Moment

I guess that feeling like crap,being unmotivated and generally in a slump that lasted for over 10 years I finally decided to take the bull by the horns and take back control of my life.I knew that my weight problem was just a symptom of a much bigger issue that up to this point I was unwilling to address. I decided in May of 2010 that I would again seek the help of a counsellor and try to find out why I was so emotionally closed off from everyone, I was always the fat jolly guy who was always the life of the party but always in room full of people I felt all alone and I acted out to disguise my discomfort, acting out took the form of everything from excessive drinking, drug use and overeating all to make myself feel better. But each and every time after medicating myself the same underlying issues came back to the surface. I'm not saying that I am any great person for having the discipline to try and change my life, I'm not, but what I did feel was a sense that I have had enough and something drastic had to be done, but what would that be ????